I’m not sure if you have the Middle School Blues, but I sure as hell have it and I need HELP! Look, in better terms, there’s a WHOLE lotta puberty going on in my house right now. I’m not quite sure how my sweet little elementary school daughter turned into a sassy mouth, wanna be super cool teenager over the last few years…but I sure as hell want it to go away! I was always content with my unpopularity and my days consisted of Disney channel drama, books, music and a few best friends. In middle school, I was always “Dante’s little sister” so I had someone to live in the shadows of, plus stay in all the school gossip at the same time. Looking back, I wish that I had more of an opinion or a voice, I was always so quiet and reserved. My daughter is so much more than I was at that age. She has a voice, she has opinions, and she demands presence….I love that about her.
Middle School Changed The Game…
As soon as 6th grade started, my daughter started to form her little clique of girlfriends. She started to dress differently, actually use her cell phone to text and talk instead of play a bunch of games, and slowly trying to figure out where she belonged. She got introduced to Volleyball, had a growth spurt to 5’7(she’s now 5’10 towering over me), and easily found herself to being a social butterfly. On to 7th grade now, I’m officially a total mom outcast. I can’t pick out anything cute unless it’s cropped, and I can’t even hold a conversation unless I’m taking her to Starbucks. I mean, we still have 3 years until she’s 16 and she’s already saying stuff like she can’t wait until she’s 18 and off in college someplace far away. Geez, dramatic much anyone?
I was getting ready to pour myself another glass of wine, because let’s face it, that’s the only way that I’m going to get passed these middle school days with ease. I pulled out my laptop and started to research what issues these newly teenage girls go through. If she wasn’t going to tell me, I sure as hell was going to find out before the bottle was done! I started reading an article and it was saying that middle school is where girls have issues with these five main things.
- Standing out
- Being accepted by their friends
- Disappointing their parents
- Being self-conscious about their bodies
- Making good grades
Interesting enough, I feel like we, as women, struggle with the same things as well.
- Standing out and being afraid to feel authentic
- Being accepted by our peers
- Disappointing our families
- Being self-conscious about our bodies!!!
- Not getting good “grades” but of course we feel as if we are constantly judged on our life performances.
Ahhhh, So you DO have more in common with your teenager than you originally thought you did! This actually gives you the advantage that you need because you can come from a place of understanding when you’re trying to give advice to her. Ok, now that you got good ol google to back you up, it’s time to level up!
What do you think the BEST way to show your kid to rise up pass the BS would be? I’ll let you in on a little secret, it’s not rocket science…it’s BY SHOWING THEM! Start showing up to life unapologetically you. Start surrounding yourself around people who cheer you on. Stop seeing failures instead of accomplishments. Wear the dress with your flabby arms and smile confidently while doing it! Stop judging people and start living with more compassion and empathy towards others. Life is too short, choose to show up unperfected, because perfection is false!
I’d love to hear from you below in the comments about your own teenage stories to know that I’m not alone in this! Any tips and tricks I can try out would be lovely. These kids are growing up WAY too fast, and it’s really about cherishing every moment, and breaking emotional barriers for them along the way! Until next time! Xx