Holding it All in! Ughh!

Holding it All in! Ughh!

Someone asked me the other day while I was at work,” How’s your day going?” Without hesitation, I responded,”It’s wonderful!” After I poured them a glass of Pinot Noir, that response really started to bother me, and it got me to thinking, why do people ask you how’s your day going and always expect you to say something positive? What if I would have said something along the lines of,”My day is actually pretty sh*tty…thanks for asking though!” I would still be smiling on the outside, because it’s my job to smile, I work in hospitality! On the inside I would be frowning…simply because my day WAS sh*tty! It’s the Winter time and I’m in Washington D.C. so it’s cold outside, I had zero time to do my hair, so I proceeded to put the same space buns that I put in my five year old’s hair when I’m pressed for time, it was an hour commute into DC and I’m tired of taking that drive but the money is good, there was hardly any parking outside so I had to circle around the building four times, and to top it all off, I’d rather be at home with my family instead of slinging drinks for customers. *insert ugly cry face*

As I get bored, feel passionless, and fed up at work, I slide on my phone and go to handy dandy Google. I start to drive myself insane by looking up all the different “Ways to Quit Your 9-5 and Turn Your Side Hustle into a Profitable Business.” It’s all the same blog posts, just switched up lingo, and the reason I already know all of this, is because this is definitely NOT my first time looking this subject up. My mind starts to slowly creep into the “Grey Area”….you know that area, that area that nobody wants to EVER talk about? That same area that I wanted to take that man who asked me how my day was going, but I decided not to enter at that point. That same area that all of these blog sites aren’t mentioning as well. They tell you, just stack up your money, take the leap, and work hard! Is it that easy though? What about the times where you fall and don’t want to get back up because you feel stupid for taking that leap? What about the times that your family is looking at you insane because you left your “good job” to follow your passion? What about the times that you’re the breadwinner and your significant other is telling you that you can’t quit, our family is depending on you and that extra money! Talk about anxiety taking over your body, and self doubt settling in, kicking you out that grey area, and back into reality! Life’s not easy, we get that, but why choosing happiness so hard?

I had a podcast interview, and she told me that you have to “choose your hard” and that really resonated with me. My hard is leaving my kids to work my 9-5 job because I know that it will all work out in the end. My hard is also not being able to do what I’m extremely passionate about everyday because my 9-5 is what puts food on the table and a roof over my head. I also have to choose my hard when I pass up those snakeskin boots that cost $300 because I have to pour money into my passion. I know this hard work will pay off eventually, but in the meantime space buns and sitting in horrible traffic I go…to think about how “wonderful” my day will really be once I turn my side hustle my new 9-5! How do you keep yourself from going crazy in your dead end 9-5 while dreaming of your side hustle? Give me some inspiration ladies! Until next time…Xx


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